


Don't be Gone (I Can't Lose You)

by Child_Of_Wonderland



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo (Shadowhunters/The Mortal Instruments) [9]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood is missing, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone deserves nice things, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland Deserves Nice Things, M/M, Magnus Bane & Jace Wayland Friendship, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Magnus Bane-centric, Protective Jace Wayland, Protective Magnus Bane, Worried Jace Wayland, Worried Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 20:50:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19776178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Child_Of_Wonderland/pseuds/Child_Of_Wonderland
Summary: When Alec goes missing, Magnus feels like his world is falling apart.





	Don't be Gone (I Can't Lose You)

**Author's Note:**

> This is Magnus's point of view (as well as parts with Jace and Isabelle) of Broken Chains (Bind the Innocent) but some small things did change (mainly cause I didn't remember whether or not Magnus had been at this Institute or what at the end so yeah. It was 2am and instead of going back I just rolled with it)
> 
> Prompt: Missing and Presumed Dead

When Alec didn’t return home by ten that night, Magnus didn’t think anything of it. It was usual for the Lightwood to be late home, sometimes hunts took longer than expected or there was an emergency at the Institute that requires him to be there. When Alec didn’t return home at all that night, Magnus starts to worry. Alec always made sure to come home, or at least let Magnus know that he wasn’t going to be able to make it. There’s no message on his phone but maybe he was just extra busy. Or maybe his phone was broken. Magnus shakes away the worry and gets to work for the day, trying to ignore the fear that starts to sit in his bones at the lack of contact with Alec. When Jace calls him around lunch, asking where Alec was, Magnus panics. Almost instantly, he’s storming through the Institute’s hallways and straight towards Jace’s room. Izzy and Clary are both there as well but Magnus zeros in on Jace. The boy is pacing back and forth in front of the bed while Clary tries to get him to calm down. He has one hand resting on his abdomen where the parabatai rune exists and the other is running through his hair anxiously. Izzy looks terrified, her hands wound together in front of her. When Magnus walks in, she turns to him immediately and sends him a terrified look. 

“Where’s Alexander?” Magnus demands, successfully stopping all the previous commotion and conversation in the room. Jace stops pacing, coming to a complete stop before whirling on his heels to look at Magnus. The first thing Magnus realizes is the boy looks exhausted, he has bags under his eyes and he looks like he hasn’t slept at all. He has a broken look in his eyes and he’s staring at Magnus with a panicked and terrified look.

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” Jace whispers and he sinks onto his bed with a broken expression. Clary starts to argue and wraps an arm around him but Magnus interrupts them both.

“Where is Alexander?” Magnus growls, stalking towards where Jace and Clary are sitting. Jace’s hand is still resting on his abdomen and he’s staring at the wall without truly seeing it.

“We were hunting, got split up.” Jace grounds out and Magnus can catch the shift in his expression from guilt to pure panic, “I spent all night looking for him, I promise I looked for him. I couldn’t find him Magnus, I couldn’t find him. And I can’t feel him, it’s like he’s invisible.” Jace sighs and pulls at his hair anxiously. Clary reaches up to grab that hand, running a hand on Jace’s back and says something reassuring to him but Magnus’s isn’t hearing it. Jace doesn’t look like he can continue so the warlock turns on Isabelle, giving her a silent look to continue for her adoptive brother.

“They think he’s dead.” Isabelle whispers, as if trying to prevent Jace from hearing but it doesn’t work. The shadowhunter flies to his feet and it knocks Clary’s hand off his back.

“He’s not dead.” Jace hisses and turns to slam a hand into the wall behind him, causing a flinch from Clary, “My rune is still there!” He seems desperate for it to be true, begging whatever Angels that may be listening for it to be true. 

“Jace…” Clary starts but Jace cuts her off with a wave of his hand, shaking his head violently before she can even continue.

“He is not dead!” 

“We know Jace.” Izzy comforts and Clary doesn’t have much choice but to nod along with her, “I’m just saying that the Clave thinks so. We’ll find him.” Jace seems to accept what his sister said because he sinks back onto the bed, burying his head in his hands as he breathes.

“He just disappeared. We can’t track him, at least I can’t. I tried a lot, four or five times. I tried with his jacket and some stuff in his office, none of it worked.” Jace rambles before looking up at Magnus beggingly, “I can’t lose my brother Magnus, please.” Magnus nods his head and kneels in front of Jace, gazing at him with a quizzical expression.

“Jace, I’m going to do everything I can to get Alexander back, but I need you to tell me everything about the last time you saw him.” Magnus demands and Jace nods eagerly, explaining the hunt they had gone out on just the two of them and how Alec had taken after a rogue warlock while he dealt with the vampires. He explains how after the vampires were taken care of, pain started shooting through the bond and he had gone to find Alec. He explains how about five minutes after the pain started, Alec just disappeared completely and how he spent the rest of the night running around looking for him. By the time Jace was finished, Magnus has collapsed against the wall behind him and Izzy was hugging Jace.

“They were circle members Magnus, the vampires said that the change we’re trying to make will end with Alec dead.” Jace whispers so quietly that Magnus almost misses it. But that helps, even if the words send a shiver down Mangus’s spine.

“They’re probably over water then, the circle doesn’t do much on land.” Magnus speaks almost to himself, “Wards will block tracking, as will the water so no hope on that front.” He’s murmuring under his breath and before he can get a solid idea to stick, the door to Jace’s room is opening unprompted. The four of them look up and meet the eyes of Raj, who is sneering at Magnus. 

“What is he doing here?” Raj directs the question towards the shadowhunters in the room which just seems to make the tension in the room grow. Jace doesn’t answer him and instead sends him a glare filled with fire and hatred.

“He’s here to help us find Alec.” Izzy answers truthfully and scrunches up her nose at the other shadowhunter. Raj rolls his eyes and gives them an irritated look.

“He’s dead.” Raj snaps and glares at Magnus, “You need to leave.” Magnus raises an eyebrow at Raj as if challenging him.

“Why?” Clary immediately jumps in, standing up and crossing her arms as she glares at Raj as well. Raj gives a frustrated sound and rolls his eyes in her direction before responding as if she’s a child.

“He’s not welcome.” Raj speaks slowly, emphasizing every word, “Alec Lightwood is dead, so there’s no point in him being here for that.” Jace tenses as soon as Raj spoke Alec’s name but Clary keeps a steadying hand on his shoulder to prevent him from standing.

“Then, if I’m not supposedly needed here for that, how about the fact that I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn which means I am in charge of helping find the rogue warlock by the Accords?” Magnus challenges and Raj huffs angrily, glaring at Magnus. He seems to be about to take a step forward but steps back suddenly in fear. Magnus has let his glamour drop, staring Raj straight in the eyes and watches as the intimidation tactic works. His eyes were definitely good for intimidation and Raj backs out of the room immediately, sending a glare over his shoulder before slamming the door shut. As soon as the door shuts, Magnus puts his glamour back up and takes a steadying breathe. Magnus is still glaring at the spot that Raj was standing moments ago before sending the shadowhunters a curious look.

“What’s his issue?” Magnus snaps and Isabelle rolls her eyes, shaking her head before going to sit beside Jace again.

“He’s the interim Head that the Clave put over us until Alec’s…” Izzy trails off and takes a deep breath before continuing, “until Alec’s funeral. Then Jace takes over, per Alec's will.” Magnus tenses at the words and shakes his head, setting his jaw.

“Alexander is not going to have a funeral.” Magnus swears, “I promise you I will do all I can to save him.” Jace nods his head, giving Magnus a thankful look. Izzy hugs him, whispering a thanks to him before stepping back.

“I’ll see what I can find out and call you when I know something.” Magnus nods his head in goodbye and waves his hand, opening a portal directly from Jace’s room. He made the wards here, might as well use that factor every now and then.

***

It took him almost the rest of the day to find a hint of anything. Magnus was just about to give up on the idea that he’s working on when the water in the bowl starts to glow gold. A direct link between him and wherever Alec is. Magnus wants to cry, it’s almost midnight, he’s exhausted and he just wants Alec home. The water ripples and an image of Alec chained against a wall, asleep, appears in the bowl. Alec, who had minor cuts and bruises, but was overall okay and alive. Magnus stares into the bowl, watching as Alec’s chest rises and falls with even breaths. Alec was alive. Magnus leans his head against the table he’s sitting at, blinking sleepily into the bowl and smiles.

“Jace, Izzy!” Magnus shouts out the opening door, hoping it would wake the sleeping shadowhunters. It seems to because within a moment, the doorway to his study is filled with Izzy, Jace, and Clary. Magnus yawns through a smile and nods at the shadowhunters.

“I got something, I think if we both try to track him with this,” Magnus pauses and gestures towards the bowl, “we may be able to find him. It’s a link that’s not very common, wards aren’t usually made to fight against it.” Jace looks relieved and Izzy smiles before walking over to the desk.

“We’ll do it tomorrow morning.” Izzy declares, wrapping an arm around Magnus’s shoulders and pulling the warlock to his feet. He tries to protest but his sluggish movements fail and he relents, letting Izzy lead him towards his bedroom. Alec’s side of the bed is cold and it makes Magnus’s chest ache as he reaches for where his boyfriend would normally be lying. The sheets are cold and Magnus reaches for the pillow, curling up around it with a sigh. Tears well up in his eyes as he thinks of Alec, alone and missing. Magnus wonders what he’s thinking at this moment, if he’s still thinking that Magnus would come for him. The warlock tightens his grip on Alec’s pillow, burying his face in it. It makes him feel safe, even if it wasn’t the real thing, it makes it feel like Alec is really there with him. Magnus tosses and turns that night, unable to fully fall asleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about what Alec could be experiencing. Alec could be dying or injured. Magnus shakes his head desperately, trying to clean the thoughts as he clenches his eyes shut again. The second time he wakes up, around 3 the next morning, he can’t go back to sleep. All he could see was Alec chained in a cage, alone and begging to be saved but no one ever came. Magnus knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep after that. So he heads into the kitchen, choosing to start coffee instead. 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Jace’s voice comes from behind him and Magnus sighs a bit before turning, raising an eyebrow at the shadowhunter.

“Shouldn’t you?” Magnus counters and Jace sighs, scoffing a bit before nodding his head.

“Yeah I guess I should. I just can’t stop thinking about what might be happening to Alec.” Jace explains and Magnus nods his head, adding more water to the pot so he can make two cups.

“Yeah, I know that feeling.” Magnus admits softly as he leans against the counter and turns to face Jace, “We’ll save him Jace, I will do everything I possibly can.” Jace nods, trusting Magnus’s word more than anyone else’s when it came to Alec. 

“I know.”

***

Magnus wasn’t sure what was worse, finding Alec chained to a wall in a cell with injection spots on his neck or having to stand by as Alec was rushed into the infirmary at the Institute. Jace was pacing the hallway and Magnus puts his head in his hands as he hears people shouting behind closed doors. He knows he’s shaking, probably from exhaustion, but he can’t bring himself to leave. Alec has to be okay, he has to be. Magnus doesn’t know how he’d survive losing Alexander, he doesn’t even want to think about that. 

“He’s in good hands Jace.” Izzy tries to reassure but it doesn’t seem to do much. Magnus knows that what Isabelle is saying is true, Catarina is in there right now and she’s doing everything she can. Alec would be find, Magnus knows Catarina would make sure of it. A hand rubs his back and Magnus blinks tiredly up at whoever it is. He meets the green eyes of Clary Fray, who is giving Magnus a reassuring and comforting look.

“He’s going to be okay.” Clary says and Magnus nods his head before hiding it back in his hands. He feels completely and utterly exhausted. Clary rubs his back, whispering reassuring words to him and Magnus can feel himself start to drift off. 

“Iz, can you get him a blanket?” Clary asks but the words kind of drift out of focus as Magnus starts to lose consciousness. Just before he falls asleep, a wooly blanket that smells suspiciously like Alec is being wrapped around his shoulders.

***

The next time Magnus woke up was somehow worse than when they first found Alec. Now he just had to wait, because Catarina had done all she could but he was still unconscious and they’re doing all they can but he’ll wake up in his own time. And then there’s Raj, who is still considered the Head until Alec wakes up and refusing to let Magnus into the infirmary. He had spouted some lies about how Magnus’s demonic energy would throw off Alec’s natural angelic healing. He almost wants to fight and argue but finally sinks into the chair, just giving in because Alec was going to be okay. He sits there for a while, replaying the memories of finding Alec and tries to calm his racing heart. Shadowhunters walk past him often, sometimes bringing people in and out of the infirmary or just passing him. Not many of them spare him a glance but the ones who did, it wasn’t a disgusted look but one of pity. With every opening of the infirmary, Magnus looks up and hopes every time that it will be Jace. It never is and sometimes, he can catch a glance of Alec lying in the bed with Jace beside him. Jace’s head is bowed and he had a hand resting on Alec’s head, as if he’s trying to push energy or healing into his parabatai. Magnus stops looking up after a while, instead just keeping his head in his hands and waiting for Jace to tell him that Alec was awake because he had to wake up. Magnus needs Alec, he needs him to be okay so Alec has to wake up.

“He’s awake.” Jace’s voice breaks through his thoughts and Magnus looks up frantically, relief seeping onto his face as he flies to his feet. Jace's shoulders are drooping a bit from the previous tense set to them and he has a happy look on his face.

“He’s asking for you.” Jace finishes, moving out of the way to allow Magnus entry to the infirmary, “I’ll distract Raj, besides Alec’s awake.” Magnus nods his head and walks into the sterile room. Alec was sitting up against the wall and he beams when Magnus walks in. For the first time since Alec went missing, Magnus felt whole again and as he leans into Alec’s hug, everything feels safe.


End file.
